What we’re living through here isn’t something to be taken seriously, but at the same time, you can’t just ignore it.
If you tried to describe it to someone outside Cyprus—someone who doesn’t know the people, names, or situations—they wouldn’t believe this is happening in real life.
Even for those of us born and raised here, alongside all these characters, it’s hard to tell at first whether the news is real or the invention of some online prankster.
So, when we first heard Zacharias Koulias announce that if the President didn’t appoint a new Auditor General by 12:20 p.m. on Wednesday—when Koulias would assume the presidency temporarily—he would do it himself, we laughed.
You take it as another joke from the outspoken MP. After all, if he were serious—so common sense tells you—he wouldn’t announce it. He’d simply go ahead and do it, taking everyone by surprise.
And if it wasn’t a joke, common sense says, it was a form of pressure. Or a way to highlight the President’s lack of decisiveness.
But the President didn’t feel any pressure. He didn’t even feel the need to say anything. He carried on with his schedule as if nothing was happening. He probably also took Koulias’s declaration as a joke.
Meanwhile, Koulias—unlike the President—was fully prepared. He had asked an acquaintance to suggest three names for the position of Auditor General.
The acquaintance repeated three times, “Stelios Platis.” Since his friend was so confident in Platis, Koulias called him to be ready, and Platis agreed, although he admitted he didn’t think Koulias would actually go through with it.
Meanwhile, in the same zen state as President Christodoulides was the DIKO leader.
Five days after the Judicial Council’s decision regarding Odysseas Michaelides, and after settling his daughter in London (as he made sure to keep us updated with his posts), he finally decided to engage with public affairs.
The only one who stayed vigilant was the Speaker of the House.
The President had assumed he could leave her with the responsibility of signing off on the dismissal of the popular Odysseas from the position of Auditor General.
But as the saying goes, “He who laughs last, laughs best.” Instead of laughing at Koulias’s joke, she ruined his party by postponing her trip to Malta and, at the same time, showing the President what decisiveness and prioritisation really mean.
You don’t abandon a high-level meeting on a serious matter to attend a book presentation, you don’t plan to be absent during tough moments, and in stormy times, you don’t sit passively waiting for the storm to pass.
As spectators, we await the next episode with anticipation, hoping the comedy won’t turn into a tragedy.